Day Eight At the Office

Howdy Cowtown peeps!
So first of all I have to take a quick minute to big up the Calgary Police for taking such good care of our city streets.

This morning I walked out the back door of my building; only to step directly into the remnant's of an obvious (and every day occurrence) overnight crack binge, no doubt left behind by one of the Beltline's many crack heads. As I stepped over the discarded tools of the trade effectively and creatively conjured up out of an empty pop can and a Bic lighter, I recalled the headlines in the Calgary news papers this last week. As I remember reading about all the arrests the Calgary Police have made in and around my area of residence; I thought to myself, what a relief. As I stood on 17th ave today; after being called out to the street from the local Subway I was standing inside of, I wondered why the Police weren't doing anything about the middle aged man I had just witnessed jay walk across a part of 17th ave that I also recall as a location of a previous accident involving the death of a young lady who was jay walking. I then also wondered why they weren't doing anything about the guy I just saw hock a massive loogey (which I was recently informed is highly illegal and massively policed in our city) on 17th ave directly in fornt of a very high traffic establishment known as Melrose Cafe and Bar; I then stopped wondering why the cities finest were too tied up to handle these minor infractions of the law, they were clearly too busy (as the officer kindly put it) "handling me" at the moment. You see today has been a very trying day for me; I have been dodging curve balls all day and working very hard at staying as positive as I possibly can be, no matter how ill fated my life may seem.

To clarify the above drab I just layed out for you all; today I recived my very first ever fine for 'spitting in public', the fine will set me back a hundred dollars and a day off of work to go pay it.
I would say that I agree with the fine except that I didn't actually 'spit' as defined in the criminal code; I did not at all reliev from my mouth any bodily fluids whatsoever, it was a piece of stail gum. I also discarded of the gum in an alley and not in a direct public walk way; I would like to think that would constitute a rather appropriate form of discardment, but I guess the hard working officer of the cities formal 'Gang Unit' didn't see it that way. Aside from not even actually catching me in the so called 'act of' spitting; I had already left the scene of the alleged infraction, I was next up to order my lunch at the very moment the officer called me out side to over emphasive the fact that he doesn;t like 'spitter's' as he refferred to me as. At the end of the whole incident I felt somewhat enforced and very safe knowing that I had been tought such a valuable life lesson; I can still hear the kind officers words as he once again reminded me of how much he hated 'spitter's', he said to me as he handed me the ticket: "I guess it's a lesson learned".

Ladies and gentlemen I am hear to tell you all about the moral of this story; plain and simple, mean people suck and nice people swallow! SO just remember the now etched into my brain words of the officer today ('lesson learned') and know (this is more for the ladies) that nothing good ever comes from 'spitting', so please, please, PLEASE learn to swallow and the world will be a better place.

Irish Car Bomb's for all,
-Digiddy