Yeeeeeehaaaaaw people!!!!
Today is for sure a short one. I am up waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too early in an attempt to be somewhat productive in one of the only days I haven't woken up hungover this Stampede. I figure if I hit the gym and sweat some of the devils drink out of me I might feel well enough to get reacquainted with some of my regulars at the bar; Jose, Jack, Johnny, Jim and of course lets not forget that tricky Russian bastard Mr.Smirnoff.
You see I'm not a heavy drinker (at least that's what I keep telling myself), so I don't feel too bad to let loose once a year for ten days while my city smells like horse shit and cow piss. I can't walk a block without getting hay stuck to my boots. So far I have managed to get drunk; sleep it off, get drunk again, sleep it off, get drunk again....well I'm sure you can all see where this is going. Last night was my first night of falling asleep and NOT passing out drunk since the shit show has started.
I just wanted to make sure that none of my readers missed me too much and that none of my friends who haven't talked to me in a couple of days, don't think I've died in a dumpster. I am having a blast this year and I hope the rain lets up for the rest of the week so I can continue to at least sweat out the booze while I consume it. I haven't made it to the grounds yet but I do believe tomorrow will be the special day; I intend to eat deep fried Oreo cookies and deep friend Mac n' Cheese.....I may also take a secret (very large) Tupperware container with me so I can store some of those mini doughnuts in my freezer for the rest of the summer. I can't wait to hit the zipper and puke all over the poor lil kid next to me.
I hope you are all having a very wonderful and safe Stampede. Make sure that you aren't drinking and driving and make sure that you also apply this to horse back riding as well.
Happy yaawhoo's and yeehaaw's,
-Sheriff Digiddy
Showing posts with label booze. Show all posts
Showing posts with label booze. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Day Thirteen At the Office
Hello all my fellow bloggers and drinkers and humanoids.
I apologize for my brief hiatus from blogging; I have been extremely busy and a lot has been happening in my personal life, I had a recent death in the family and things have been pretty crazy.
I know that writing about a lot of the happenings in my life helps me to release the emotions I would normally bottle up; however lately it seems that I have been able to deal with these emotions in real time, rather than bottle them up or write about them. I know this takes away from the whole idea of following my blog to see what's going on in the world of Digiddy; but I think if we all try really really hard, we'll all get over it!
So as I said before; I have recently gone through a death in the family, it has been hard on the whole family. Losing a loved one is never easy and seeing all the hurt and pain that can fill one room is often hard to deal with. I know that every time I have to endure the news of another loved one passing away, it tends to help me open my eyes a little more. I can appreciate all the things I have in my life because I know that all of these things can be gone in a heart beat. Everything we know and love and everyone we care about or think that we can't live without, all of this can disappear in a single breath. It's important for us to understand these facts of life so that we can all appreciate what is in front of us and never take any second of it for granted.
Aside from the passing of my uncle (RIP); I have been working a butt load to pay the bills, which is another thing I want to talk about. Why is it that we have to pay bills? I mean I understand that we are paying for services rendered; but when you really look at it, I mean seriously bring things under a bright light and powerful microscope, we are all getting hosed!
Take for example the incredibly powerful strangle hold that the good people of Shaw Cable have on those of us who are forced (due to lack of other cable service providers in Alberta) to deal with them. I know a lot of you will instantly ask why I don't just switch to satellite; for this I have another very stupid answer, I'm not allowed. You see I live in a condo downtown and when I asked the condo board for approval to install a satellite, I was told no. I was very persistent in the matter and asked for the condo board to at least send out a bulletin with a consensus asking other owners if they would agree to overturn the boards ruling; I was also very generous and offered to pay for a dish to be installed on the roof of the building and would allow other residents to buy a receiver and tune in to my signal, I still got a no. This being said; I am forced to deal with peasant vision and crappy at best, Shaw service. So I did what anyone else would do, I went for the total bundle. Not only am I getting my cable for my TV provided to me; I am also getting my phone and internet services provided to me by the good people at Shaw Cable, I can't even begin to tell you how easy this has made life for me............................pfffffffffffffft!!!! YA FUCKIN RIGHT!!!!
Shaw Cable has fucked me over so many times and I have been dealing with them without flawed payments for over ten years now! These bastards have lied to me, cut me off for payments not received (kind of hard to make a payment when I don't receive a bill in the mail), been rude to me on the phone, put me on hold for a minimum of half an hour EVERY time I call and last but not least, they have sold me more than one refurbished cable box and claimed they were new, only to have them break down and then get told that there is nothing they can do about it.
Last week I absolutely lost my shit on the good people at Shaw Cable; I was spoken down to in person by a pole smoking goof, who must have mistaken me for someone who wouldn't reach over the counter and smack the shit out of his boy kissing face! After I stormed out of the great customer service office of Shaw Cable; I immediately placed a call to the head office and reamed out a perfect stranger and in some very kind words, I told him to cancel all of my Shaw services.
Had I of known this would be so easy I would have done it long ago; you see they are so threatened by losing out on the twenty five hundred dollars a year that I spend on their half ass service that they offered to replace my high definition dual tuner cable box with a brand new one and they also told me they would knock off the last two pay per view events I had ordered and not received, yet was still charged for. I was amazed at how easily this victory was obtained, especially since the battle has been raging since '02', seven years of calling in to have my bill adjusted and seven years of faulty cable boxes and seven years of rude customer service representatives...all of it put in the past and me standing on the top of the mountain doing the victory dance. The lesson I can take from this would have to be one of justice for those who are prepared to make the appropriate threats at the appropriate time.
I am again apologizing to all of you who actually keep up with my blog and enjoy my views and outspoken opinions on life in general and all of the shit in between. I will be in the office more often and I will be banging my fingers away at this keyboard until I have been heard and felt by those who most need to hear and feel me! Until that time, here I sit, iTunes blasting, dog farting, crack heads screaming, and me pouring the fluids of life.....booze baby!
Drinks in the air and some on the ground for the dead hommies, gone but not forgotten (RIP Uncle Chuck).
-Digiddy
I apologize for my brief hiatus from blogging; I have been extremely busy and a lot has been happening in my personal life, I had a recent death in the family and things have been pretty crazy.
I know that writing about a lot of the happenings in my life helps me to release the emotions I would normally bottle up; however lately it seems that I have been able to deal with these emotions in real time, rather than bottle them up or write about them. I know this takes away from the whole idea of following my blog to see what's going on in the world of Digiddy; but I think if we all try really really hard, we'll all get over it!
So as I said before; I have recently gone through a death in the family, it has been hard on the whole family. Losing a loved one is never easy and seeing all the hurt and pain that can fill one room is often hard to deal with. I know that every time I have to endure the news of another loved one passing away, it tends to help me open my eyes a little more. I can appreciate all the things I have in my life because I know that all of these things can be gone in a heart beat. Everything we know and love and everyone we care about or think that we can't live without, all of this can disappear in a single breath. It's important for us to understand these facts of life so that we can all appreciate what is in front of us and never take any second of it for granted.
Aside from the passing of my uncle (RIP); I have been working a butt load to pay the bills, which is another thing I want to talk about. Why is it that we have to pay bills? I mean I understand that we are paying for services rendered; but when you really look at it, I mean seriously bring things under a bright light and powerful microscope, we are all getting hosed!
Take for example the incredibly powerful strangle hold that the good people of Shaw Cable have on those of us who are forced (due to lack of other cable service providers in Alberta) to deal with them. I know a lot of you will instantly ask why I don't just switch to satellite; for this I have another very stupid answer, I'm not allowed. You see I live in a condo downtown and when I asked the condo board for approval to install a satellite, I was told no. I was very persistent in the matter and asked for the condo board to at least send out a bulletin with a consensus asking other owners if they would agree to overturn the boards ruling; I was also very generous and offered to pay for a dish to be installed on the roof of the building and would allow other residents to buy a receiver and tune in to my signal, I still got a no. This being said; I am forced to deal with peasant vision and crappy at best, Shaw service. So I did what anyone else would do, I went for the total bundle. Not only am I getting my cable for my TV provided to me; I am also getting my phone and internet services provided to me by the good people at Shaw Cable, I can't even begin to tell you how easy this has made life for me............................pfffffffffffffft!!!! YA FUCKIN RIGHT!!!!
Shaw Cable has fucked me over so many times and I have been dealing with them without flawed payments for over ten years now! These bastards have lied to me, cut me off for payments not received (kind of hard to make a payment when I don't receive a bill in the mail), been rude to me on the phone, put me on hold for a minimum of half an hour EVERY time I call and last but not least, they have sold me more than one refurbished cable box and claimed they were new, only to have them break down and then get told that there is nothing they can do about it.
Last week I absolutely lost my shit on the good people at Shaw Cable; I was spoken down to in person by a pole smoking goof, who must have mistaken me for someone who wouldn't reach over the counter and smack the shit out of his boy kissing face! After I stormed out of the great customer service office of Shaw Cable; I immediately placed a call to the head office and reamed out a perfect stranger and in some very kind words, I told him to cancel all of my Shaw services.
Had I of known this would be so easy I would have done it long ago; you see they are so threatened by losing out on the twenty five hundred dollars a year that I spend on their half ass service that they offered to replace my high definition dual tuner cable box with a brand new one and they also told me they would knock off the last two pay per view events I had ordered and not received, yet was still charged for. I was amazed at how easily this victory was obtained, especially since the battle has been raging since '02', seven years of calling in to have my bill adjusted and seven years of faulty cable boxes and seven years of rude customer service representatives...all of it put in the past and me standing on the top of the mountain doing the victory dance. The lesson I can take from this would have to be one of justice for those who are prepared to make the appropriate threats at the appropriate time.
I am again apologizing to all of you who actually keep up with my blog and enjoy my views and outspoken opinions on life in general and all of the shit in between. I will be in the office more often and I will be banging my fingers away at this keyboard until I have been heard and felt by those who most need to hear and feel me! Until that time, here I sit, iTunes blasting, dog farting, crack heads screaming, and me pouring the fluids of life.....booze baby!
Drinks in the air and some on the ground for the dead hommies, gone but not forgotten (RIP Uncle Chuck).
-Digiddy
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Day Three At the Office
Hello followers! (count still at zero)
The rain is here and won't go away. May in Calgary is pretty much the wettest month out of the year. We all make plans to go camping for May long weekend (this weekend coming up); yet we all know that it's either going to rain worse than the year before, or it's going to snow. I have volunteered my skills as a booze slinger to the local watering hole that currently employs me (totally forgot to book the time off); I don't believe in rain showers and mud baths, I'm more of a 'take a shit in the woods if it's the absolute last resort' kind of guy. Not to say camping isn't fun and drinking in the same clothes for 3 days isn't an absolute blast, but for real I just think I have out grown the whole 'May Long Weekend' tradition. I feel as though it's partly due to the fact that I can no longer binge drink without feeling the effects of such actions for days after; and it's also due to the fact that as the crowd at McClean Creek keeps getting younger, I myself do not.
Aside from the rain, I had yet another fantastic day pouring pints and measuring ounces of the hard stuff for the masses. Today I had a telepathic conversation with a young (and very hippy), interesting girl. I saw her standing out in the rain watching TV through the window; I muttered under my breath some words that need not be repeated, then we made eye contact. The eye contact was brief; but we both knew what we were thinking towards one another...clearly I was wrong, she came inside anyway. I'm not really sure what goes through someones head as they wake up in the morning, throw on some face paint for the day, fashion some boots out of an old blanket and some newspaper, wrap urself in a towel, make ur way into the public and search down the nearest pub that plays Tom Petty and serves cold water and hot coffee.
Needless to say, I was completely creeped out by this interesting young lady and I could only count down the minutes until she would be done sipping her water and talking to her dread locks. Had I a better camera on my iPhone, I would have been able to conjur up an amazing anti-drug add. Unfortunately the minutes I was counting turned into a total of 4 hours. Yes taht's right...FOUR HOURS! Pretty sure the girl is still there talking to her face paint and smiling aimlessly into the sky (as if she had star gazers syndrome), either way I felt it neccessary to blog about this girl as she was the only person I saw today that picked her nose and examined the aftermath at the tip of her finger for a total of 3 and a half minutes.
Happy pints and shooters!
-Digiddy
The rain is here and won't go away. May in Calgary is pretty much the wettest month out of the year. We all make plans to go camping for May long weekend (this weekend coming up); yet we all know that it's either going to rain worse than the year before, or it's going to snow. I have volunteered my skills as a booze slinger to the local watering hole that currently employs me (totally forgot to book the time off); I don't believe in rain showers and mud baths, I'm more of a 'take a shit in the woods if it's the absolute last resort' kind of guy. Not to say camping isn't fun and drinking in the same clothes for 3 days isn't an absolute blast, but for real I just think I have out grown the whole 'May Long Weekend' tradition. I feel as though it's partly due to the fact that I can no longer binge drink without feeling the effects of such actions for days after; and it's also due to the fact that as the crowd at McClean Creek keeps getting younger, I myself do not.
Aside from the rain, I had yet another fantastic day pouring pints and measuring ounces of the hard stuff for the masses. Today I had a telepathic conversation with a young (and very hippy), interesting girl. I saw her standing out in the rain watching TV through the window; I muttered under my breath some words that need not be repeated, then we made eye contact. The eye contact was brief; but we both knew what we were thinking towards one another...clearly I was wrong, she came inside anyway. I'm not really sure what goes through someones head as they wake up in the morning, throw on some face paint for the day, fashion some boots out of an old blanket and some newspaper, wrap urself in a towel, make ur way into the public and search down the nearest pub that plays Tom Petty and serves cold water and hot coffee.
Needless to say, I was completely creeped out by this interesting young lady and I could only count down the minutes until she would be done sipping her water and talking to her dread locks. Had I a better camera on my iPhone, I would have been able to conjur up an amazing anti-drug add. Unfortunately the minutes I was counting turned into a total of 4 hours. Yes taht's right...FOUR HOURS! Pretty sure the girl is still there talking to her face paint and smiling aimlessly into the sky (as if she had star gazers syndrome), either way I felt it neccessary to blog about this girl as she was the only person I saw today that picked her nose and examined the aftermath at the tip of her finger for a total of 3 and a half minutes.
Happy pints and shooters!
-Digiddy
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